fatima *updated*

Hindi script, courtesy Sameer from Udan Tashtri. his blog is a must, if u can read Hindi.
still, no attempts to translate this though. god knows if anybody will help me.
this is a mother, fatima’s anxiety about her son. the first realisation, when he returns from hostel, not in his elements, lost in thoughts, with eyes searching something far away, he behaves as if he has left something precious back there. she does everything ritually, the greetings, the embrace, the amulet to protect from evil eyes, but still, she feels he is divided somehow.
this is her anxiety, perhaps, he is not mine now. perhaps… he has fallen in love.

the poem emerged from the thoughts about one of dee’s friend who has gone home madly in love but with little hopes of realisation. and also from the anxiety i read in my mother’s eyes when my behaviour had changed appreciably last year, around this very time period. i was meeting dee on a regular basis, still unaware about my feelings, (but ‘ma’ had read it before even i realized) and to counter any of mother’s probing questions, i invented a fictional name for her. ‘fatima’ that is.