metro blues

the metro coach’s floor is of a blue-grey colour. with little white and little black dots spread out on it. seven pair of footwear sit in front of me. and six beside me. two on my left, three on my right. i notice my own shoes. the same leather ones that took me to the hills. and came back well, as well. seem a bit old and wrinkled now. or perhaps i haven’t polished them after coming back. hmmm. people wear an assortment of footwear these days. its not like the old times, when there were black leather formals & white sports shoes for gents and sandals/slippers of some variety for the ladies. a whole range of footwear options is on display here.

the floor has a thin layer of dirt & grime over it. its a layer, bearing distinct and varied marks, left over the day’s span. metro coach floors are cleaner by any standard from other public transport in delhi. still, this many people coming and going, do leave marks over time.

perhaps, it might be a bit cleaner in the morning. i promise myself to take an early metro someday, just to verify this fact. i smile. and i smile at myself thinking this. its my old sarcastic smile.

been half an hour since i’ve looked up. since i looked up at anything. or anyone. i know there are people all around. chattering, blabberring, normally-happy-and-normally-unhappy-with-this-world-people. going on with their daily lives.

then there are all these feet. moving, shuffling, sitting lazily or standing firm. feet coming in, feet going out…bags, luggage…so much to see, to ponder upon, to avoid the gaze of this so called normal world.

half an hour ago, i left her standing on ‘my’ side of the metro platform. it was a morning well lived. campus, nirula’s, kathi roll’s, coffee’s, chai’s; walking, sitting, talking, listening; harry potter books for gudiya’s b’day gift, and the coelho she took for herself; a whole world came to an end with a hug and a goodbye. its always difficult for us. so, a goodbye sans words.

she just stood there and smiled as i entered and found this seat in the metro coach. for the last half an hour, i’ve not looked up at all. something is welling-up from inside. and i don’t want these others to see what is going through my mind.

and i’m so blue without her.