Words

12 days to go…

sitting across the room
i see her shy smile
escaping, the curve of lips
and reaching her eyes
.
.
.
how silently
it fills me up with warmth
love happens,
in a slow motion

yesterday, on the 24th of january 2007, i was with her. took an off from office just to live the day with my parents and her. its another matter, that a few friends still filtered in through my reluctances 🙂 but, i love them all. sachin, aparna, rahul whom i met in person. aparna, my hagrid came to my place for the first time and it didn’t felt like that. that’s the best thing about her. sachin will behave like real sachin only with me, that’s the best thing about him. and mr. rahul raichowdhury will behave like a rahul raichowdhury with anyone, anyday-and that’s the best thing about him 🙂

got a lot of calls and sms’ from all over the country. dwai, from kolkata; aditi-my twin from mumbai and pushkin-my pen friend from hyderabad, that is the east, west, south of india 🙂 and ofcourse, from north, that is himachal, my elder brother-friend, arvind called up late in the night on being reminded by sachin!

thanks to all of you too, for your good wishes.
dwai: yes that magic is impossible to recreate in any words!
ciuckoo: may god grant me this wish real soon 😉 there was no party as such, just what you read above.
suparna: thanks a ton, although i expected something in shayari from your end!
alok: thanks mate! love, luck n life! ah, who doesn’t need that 🙂
sugarlips: blast with dee!!! yup, sure 😉
starry: oh lalitha! that was wonderful, i hope to make dee happier in the coming years, and i’ll need all your blessings full of love.
vi: no, its not your fault, even my kids will consider me younger than what i’ll be 😉 thanks
sophie: yup, that song flowed from the heart of my heart, and thanks for the photo comment, i need to look good when i am angry 🙂
sigma: yes, i had a really good day, waiting for the lifetime to unfold!!!
ashish: thanks dost.
totaramkiaaatma: i really expected a phone call or an sms from you. after my last comment.
pheebes: cheers!!! am delirious, this whole day has been spent in a daze! clouds have come to the ground this time!!!
aklanta: that was a very thoughtful wish. thanks.
chco: “without knowing so” hmmm. yes, you are absolutely right. my best dream, dee, has been fulfilled without both of us ever realizing what was going on! i’ll sure keep your words in mind and now don’t you ever say that you don’t have a literary bent of mind 🙂
obi: “happy” i am. and yes, may the force be with all of those who have set out for their dreams.
chloe: i will try. sure. this is the one lesson, that i’ve realised yesterday. which i’ll share with all of you below.

and considering that, i’ve lot to talk, and much less of time, this post or its mood will continue in the next one also. i leave you all with a quote by Osho,

“The greatest understanding is to know that nothing can be understood, that all is mysterious and miraculous.”

as for love, Dee, i would not try to justify it with a reason. there is nothing to be understood or to find a logic with it. i love you, because i do 🙂

7 Comments

more updates!

there’s so much to say and do that’s its actually making me mad!!!

met her on sunday, and it all went well. as always.

have brought some little souveniers from the day. but they’ll come later.

this time their was less of agony and impatience & more of peace and calm.

i think the initial craziness has subsided and now its more of smooth sailing from now on 🙂

thanks to all of you for the wishes and the flickr comments.

have been too busily blue to even add comments on those pics.

the sariska set is of the new year trip i went to with my office gang.

i thought i’ll post something about that here, but then…

and there’s more if i go backwards, there’s the saturday me & dee met dwaipayan, our fellow blogger who had come all the way from kolkata. sorry dwai. if time permits, i’ll sure post about that day. but u know this already, it was special just being with you. never felt that we were meeting for the first time 🙂

since last night, have been blue.

this is the yearly time to be so.

its the time of the year, when i look back at the life gone by, and the dreams taking shape. the trouble is, am not being able to decide what dreams to dream. what goals to reach, what heights to conquer. as of now, its just an aimless life.

i believe in the power of dreams. and i know i have in me to realise them. but what to ask from life? which dream to live for? why i am living? what is my purpose? if i’ve been given the powers, then for what?

m not finding any answers. and this is why i am blue.

and that’s why, i was real pissed off with myself, when neeru clicked these pics.
btw, whoever wants to wish me, can.

i am 27 tomorrow.

wish me luck 🙂
19 Comments

majdoor ka beta

majdoor ka beta
khelta hai mitti se
chalta hai agni par
swapn dekhta hai vayu sam
jal bharta hai ankhon mein
aur jeeta hai aakash jaisa anant jeevan

a.c. mein pale badhe
gadiyon mein chale
‘sahab’ ke bete ka
aisa bhagya kahan

ho na ho
bhagwan bhi
kisi majdoor ka beta hai
paanch tatvon ke
apne in khilono se
usi ne gadha hoga, mujh angadh ko

hope my twin translates this for me!

6 Comments

update!

m officially on flickr 🙂

here, http://www.flickr.com/photos/delhidreams/

n tomorrow, its sunday!!!

7 Comments

a question


if i could somehow
touch the distance
that lies between
you & me
i would run my fingers over it,
feel its texture
is it coarse, is it smooth
and like a good scientist
would experiment on it;
does it dissolve in sighs

Yellow Mood by William Baziotes; Image: © Christie’s Images/CORBIS; Date Created: 1946

4 Comments

shhhh

shhhh
dinner chal raha hai
don’t disturb

(which roughly translates into, shhh, don’t disturb, dinner is on!)



she replies,
Dnnr CHAL raha hai:-)
Intrstng indeed

(which translates to, dinner is walking, interesting indeed)

🙂

Comments Disabled

contemplating?

says my persisting stars…

don’t know
but sitting at the comp
nine twelve in the night
discussing a concept
of spirituality
for a commercial reason

dada reminds me
of the evenings i spent
looking at patterns
made by
water leaving the floor
after ma had washed it

a child
wishes shapes
in the evaporating water
is it
imagination,
or contemplation

5 Comments

random

i am
destiny’s fugitive
running around
in circles of gold

i am
a hollow promise
enticing existence
to follow & to fall

i am
a weary lie
dwarfed by
the truths abound

i am
Saturn’s favourite son
imrisoned in
His bowels of resurrection

7 Comments

this was how he met her this sunday

all the year-long week, he had waited for this sunday. had longed to be with her, to run to her, and to wrap his arms around her. he had been depressed, almost sick missing her. and finally when saturday night arrived, he was startled to find himself in doubts. doubts about love.

it sneaked in through a friend’s comment. the friend he was supposed to meet the next day. and it appeared in the form of a question. “do i love her?” as if someone else within was intent on dismantling the dreams he had built in the preceding months. it creeped in, and took over his mind. “do i really love her? is this love for real or just companionship? a phase that’ll soon wither away?” and he got scared. of all those questions screaming in his mind.

he asked her. pleaded her for help. “please answer me. please help me answer these questions.” she tried. she calmed him. as she always does. but she also reminded him that the answer was within him. and whatever the answer was, she’ll wait for it.

the answer came, agonisingly late in the night. he messaged her. they talk a lot through sms’ these days. but the answer howsoever clear, was still clouded in sleep. waking up in the morning, she was to receive more messages from him. and smile at them. smile at him.


by the time he slept; took part in the engagement ceremony of his landlord’s son the next noon, waited for the programme to end quickly; and then in a hurry to meet her, left it midway… by the time he boarded the bus that took him to the friend’s place where she was also to come, changed the bus at a red light as it was going too slowly for his eagerness, ran for another one, got down at the NOIDA crossing, and in a hurry to cross the road, nearly got run over… by the time he had walked, walked fast and then nearly sprinted all the way and up the stairs to the house no. 118, in mayur vihar phase 1, all those doubts of the previous night had vanished long ago and all he wanted was to see her once again.

lifting his right-hand to knock the door, he stopped. a laughter had ringed in the air. escaped through the closed door and filled up his whole being. through his fingers formed in a half-knock, through the wrist, the arm, the shoulder, the body, the mind, seeping to the ground, and in to his heart. it was her voice.

the world around laughed with her.

she laughs,
like a holy basil plant
laughing in the golden sunshine
like a floating diya
on the ghats of banaras
like a child’s heart
singing with joy.

she laughs,
with a smile within
sprinkled with a silliness
which warms his heart.
she laughs
in a million words
he won’t be able to use
describing how…
breathless, he stood there for two minutes. long after the laugh had gone, with the silence still and melodious. then knocked the door. entered. breathed. greeted his friend’s – the brother and sister duo. didn’t talk to her. at all. he was satisfied in watching her from a distance. she seemed too pious to be near, and he was afraid that he might spoil her.

but, when finally she came and sat beside him, asking, “what is it, adi”, he broke down and cried.

this was how he met her this sunday.


And on went the moments flying by,
Moments they wanted to freeze,
Moments where it did not really matter,
That they were annoying others,
Where they both knew that for another week they wont meet…
And will wait for the next sunday,
In his arms she felt like a Godess being worshipped,
Sipping the ginger tea n teasing each other,
It was time for her to leave,
He pleaded to her to stay a little more,
She left those imploring eyes coz it was getting late,
And she went away like she always does…
Wishing she could have spent a little more time,
A few more moments of living and loving him…

A silence descended when he left,
It was cold all around,
Wrapping herself again in those memories,
And breathing his fragrance all around,
She smiled coz some distance away he was there, loving her…

9 Comments

sunday evening

welcome metro station par
sunday shaam ko
mujhe vida karti
teri wo aankhen
saath hain
abhi tak



pyaar se bhari huyi, labalab
ek hi samay
jaane ko bhi kehti
aur rok lene ko bhi tadapti
teri ye aankhen
abhi ye train chal padegi
aur reh jayegi
sirf inki yaad mere saath
vo dekho
dil doob raha hai
suraj ki tarah
yamuna mein

koi to rok lo ise
bhar aane se


somebody stop this heart from welling up inside
sorry starry, won’t be able to translate this one

10 Comments