Words

Paheli – love story of a ghost



Elegant, esctatic exuberance of colours, that’s what I would call Paheli – India’s nomination to Oscars this year.

Saw it just a few days ago on Star Gold. A poetry in motion, a dream on celluloid, a fairytale with a happy ending- who would mind that.

Some do. For them it’s an illogical movie. A ghost falling in love with a girl & living with her as a husband. And the girl knowingly accepting his desires. “This is particularly, not so…real”, they say.

I take a different view of things. As I told Rashmi also. For me, this movie is all about Love. And love is always impractical, always illogical.
It is love, that forced a ghost to proclaim, “I won’t be able to live without you.” It is love, that helped the girl in deciding between a husband who left her for five years on the first night and a ghost who is true enough to reveal his identity.

Paheli gives you a dream to dream of, a hope. It tells you, ‘Love makes everything possible’ and that is why it must be seen.

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on basant panchami

Today is Basant Panchami and Saraswati Pooja.

I love the colour yellow. And today, its yellow everywhere. I’m not much religious but some days just get me. The colours and traditions of India… enthrall your senses in ways unimaginable.

Something just seeps in to your soul, permeates its every little grain, makes you feel one with the world around.

Just flowing with the flow, merging with the crowd, feeling the essence of India within. Today is Basant Panchami…and yellow is everywhere.

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check this out! my workplace

To amul, maggie, apsy, bugs, pino and others who wondered what freakhouse I stay in 10 hours a day and still have to be pushed/pulled out of…

This is my office, my workplace and at times the most favourite place in whole of delhi.

Let me introduce you to a a few of the guys here…

The person in the foreground looking all serious and engrossed in work is one of the partner bosses, ‘Mr. Subroto Sarkar’. I call him Babu da. He is the ‘production & servicing head’ of the agency. And he is only half as workaholic as he looks here.

The person next in the vision is Sanjay, one of the lifelines of this office. He is the guy who runs around doing all the things we lazy people can’t accomplish ourselves.

The Lady grinning so nicely posing for the Camera is my dear own sweetheart, Rashmi. Ofcourse she knows she is being photographed, otherwise that smile stays hidden behind a little nose twitching with anger.

Okay, so the red tee shirt gentleman comes next. With a perfect photogenic face and the simplest of demeanours, he is the favourite of all the people. Somu we call him, Soumindo the true identity. A real darling he is. Of everyone.

Barely visible behind Somu is yours truly. Adi or Alok, whatever you wanna call me. Looking all nice and happy, I just had a simple discussion with Pinaki da over a very complex invitation card we were making. Shekhar helped diffused the intensity by clicking this photograph. Yes Shiv ‘n Maggie, I haven’t changed a bit although just two years have passed.

Shekhar is our Accounts man. Every single paisa goes through his scrutiny. So you know how important he is and because all important people have a habit of staying behind the scenes you can’t see him as of now. Perhaps in some later photograph.

Behind me is Suman, ‘the servicing guy’. Always serious, he had to literally stretch up for this snap. He is another one of the simple ‘n sober guys around. Always looking for a young girlfriend – Simply ‘n soberly. He is the one responsible for rekindling my interest in books. No amount of thanks is enough for that. Thanks mate!

Aha! The one arguing with Pinaki da is Neeru, ‘the most hilarious and funny creature’ in our office. I call her ‘Nadia’. A smile never-ever leaves her face. Infact we’ve to ask her to stop smiling and concentrate on work. Otherwise all’s perfect with her. Now that she has plans for settling down in life, I wonder what she meant by giving me the title of ‘the second most intelligent person she knows.’

And last, hidden behind Rashmi and nodding to whatever Neeru is saying is Mr. Pinaki Ranjan Saha. The other half of the partner bosses we are blessed with. He is the ‘creative head’ of the agency. We call him Pinaki da. A more serious person never walked this Earth. He likes his work and loves his clients (most of them incidentally are women).

Some people are not in this picture, notably my dear Bandhu- Harsh, Sanjeet the peon and Rajender- Sanjay’s partner in crime. This completes the roundup of the people in this small, young agency of ours.

So these were the people. And if you just strain your neck a little bit, you will see my desk behind where me, somu n suman are standing. The most organised desk in morning becomes the most disorganised one by the evening. The time here is only afternoon. On the far left corner is my black bag and on the right one is some books, where the Oxford Dictionary tops the pile. Above these is the big pin-up board. It is a new addition and I reckon, it’ll be filling out with lots of tit-bits soon. And hey, just beside the dictionary is my flower vase. It was a birthday gift. With some flowers I go from Rashmi and Pinaki da, I made good use of it. What do you say?
If you see a little bit of darkness here, don’t worry, I’ve brightened the picture by almost 40% in Photoshop. Yeah, it is a bit dark place. Everybody who visits for the first time complements so. And we guys are proud of all the graffiti you see here. Including inverted swastiks.
Okay, I think its enough for now. I hope you enjoyed the little tour. Do leave your comments.
This is the 31st of January, 07:23 and me, the original dreamweaver is signing off. Love you guys.
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the twenty fourth of january


‘…From an inside pocket of his black overcoat he pulled a slightly squashed box. Harry opened it with trembling fingers. Inside was a large, sticky chocolate cake with Happy Birthday Harry written on it in green icing.
Harry looked up at the giant. He meant to say thank you, but the words got lost on the way to his mouth, and what he said instead was, ‘who are you?’

…Harry Potter, the first one.


Twenty Fourth of January, Two Thousand & Six. Twenty six years & was still waiting for my Hagrid to smash in through that door.

Twenty Fourth of January, Two Thousand & Six. And a little voice whispered, ‘you need not wait for anyone, anymore. Whatever, wherever, however you were, the future will depend solely on the splendour of your dreams and the faith you’ll have in your abilities. The future is what you want it to be.’

Yeah, the future is what I want it to be. The trouble is, I don’t know what future I wanna create.

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the twenty sixth of january

‘India celebrated(?) her Independence on the 15th of August, 1947. But it was on January 26,1950 that she became a nation in the true sense. On this day, India became a Republic with a Constitution and elected representatives of the people. With this, Republic Day became the most important day in the history of (modern) India.’ This is what we teach our children about the Republic Day.


So how did you celebrate the Republic Day? Or did you celebrate at all? Does this day holds any significance for us- the youth, the future of the country?

Ain’t we taking some things for granted? Little things like democracy, freedom and India herself? Is patriotism becoming the ‘buzz word’ for two days in the year only? Do we have time for India amongst our so busy lives?

My mother sometimes narrates how my Nanaji (Maternal Grandfather) celebrated this day. For him, Jan. 26th coupled with Aug. 15th were the two most important days in the whole year. On this day he would go to the Rajpath to watch the parade in the morning. Coming back he would motivate the reluctant household in to a celebratory mode, nah, not the household but the whole neighrbourhood was seen celebrating the day with him. Distributing sweets, coaxing Naniji to prepare ‘Gajar ka Halwa’, telling children the importance of the occasion and feeling one with the soul of India.

Sometimes, I feel we’ve lost it somewhere. That umblical cord which bound us to our nation is being severed. We are like the children who feel all grown-up now, remembring our mother only on certain dates in the calendar. Why have we become like that?

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anticipation

‘I like the promise of pain, more than the perversity of pleasure, it keeps me real and alive.’
alok saini

I’ve on my desk a book titled ‘To Kill A Mockingbird’ by Harper Lee. It comes highly recommended and I’m looking forward to living it. In anticipation of a good read…

This is what the back cover says,
“Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit them. but remember it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.”
A lawyer’s advice to his children as he defends the real mockingbird of this enchanting classic-a black man charged with the rape of a white girl. Through the eyes of Scout and Jem Finch, Harper Lee explores with exuberant humour the irrationality of adult attitudes to race and class in the Deep South of the thirties. The conscience of a town steeped in prejudice, violence and hypocrisy is pricked by the stamina of one man’s struggle for justice. But the weight of history will only tolerate so much… To Kill A Mockingbird

‘Someone rare has written this very fine novel, a writer with the liveliest sense of life and the warmest, most authentic humour. A touching book; and so funny, so likeable.’ – Truman Capote

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heart and the spring

‘I know of a planet where there is a red-faced gentleman. He has never smelled a flower. He has never looked at a star. He has never loved anybody. He has apent all his time adding up figures. And, all day, he keeps on repeating, like you: ” I am busy with serious matters. I am busy with serious matters,” over and over again. And he swells up with pride.’ – The Little Prince

Spring is coming, winter is on its way out. You guess this from the way he dresses these days. No more sweaters & jackets – both. Either only a sweater or a jacket. Or a woolen shirt doubles up as the jacket, if the day is particularly warm. Little twisted logic. Last week he was seen wearing a shirt over a jacket. And he chooses the color as per the day of the week. Some astrologer imparted him useful tips on the subject.

Spring is almost here, winter is packing her bags. You hear this in the evening news. ‘The minimum temperature was five degrees above normal.’ Coupled with the newspaper, they really are the best source to know whether you should feel cold or warm.

There used to be another way of gauging the spring’s arrival. You looked around & saw the flowers blooming. Bright, rioting, colorful flowers. In the parks, outside government offices, in private gardens, on windowsills and even in cramped corners of overstuffed balconies, you saw spring’s signature all around.

Not any more. Now-a-days, spring is seen only in well organized flower shows. Or in precious parts at the florist’s. ‘This rose will cost rupees seven sir. No, you can’t take two for ten, I’ll lose my margin sir.’

The only alive, full of life flower I saw this season was in that art gallery’s lawn I went last Saturday with Apsy. A single orangish-red gladiolus. Looking slightly ruffled under the artificial light at night. Just wanted to sit cross-legged there and watch it. Apsy liked the idea, but one look at the smattering of intellectuals around us, we dropped the thought. You are supposed to behave a little maturely amongst ummm, matured people.

There was this rose bush also, trimmed a bit abruptly. So many buds waiting to flower, so little leaves to accompany them. And that white kid who liked our gladiolus very much. And dared to show his delight. Sensible. Unlike us. Children are same everywhere. Children are like flower buds, hiding so many springs within. That is, if they are not trimmed as per society’s whims and wishes.

No more flowers in our lives, no more innocence in our children. It seems an eternal winter has set around us. No more spring in our hearts. Or should I say, no more heart in our springs.

All of us have turned into that red-faced gentleman’s clones. Engrossed in our serious matters and important lives, we tend to overlook life’s little delights.

All I wish for is a piece of spring in my life.

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The Mirror of ERISED


…The happiest man on earth would be able to use the Mirror of Erised like a normal mirror, that is, he would look into it and see himself exactly as he is.…It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts…However, this mirror will give us neither knowledge or truth. Men have wasted before it, entranced by what they have seen, or been driven mad, not knowing if what it shows is real or even possible.

And then I saw them. Groups of young men and women walking back to the bus stop from their college. What was that, maybe, ‘Dayal Singh College’? Then it struck me. What would my mirror had shown?

I always had a desire to complete my higher studies and even further more than that. Even Hermoine could not have competed with me on that. I feel sad, actually more than sad for not being able to complete my studies. And when I see young people getting admissions to fancied universities and courses, which I could have but couldn’t, I feel much more than blue. Its like something I wished for, longed for and it was taken from me, snatched away.

That is why I feel good when Apsy re-joins NIFT because I would’ve loved to be there, doing that. That is why I almost enjoy Boni buried beneath her books everytime I visit her. I wish, I could have done an honours course from a reputed university. Or when Bugs goes for the CAT & majors or Pino joins the Infy league or Amul clears exam after exam or now, that little kid, Gudiya now going for her CS degree. It is not jealousy I feel towards them, just a sad thought for myself about what I could’ve done, if….

And these if’s rule my whole life.

Perhaps, this is what the ‘Mirror of Erised’ would’ve shown me. Standing there in a black graduate gown, looking very proud with that degree in my hand.
What are my deepest of desires?
Is that, that house with a Tulsi plant in the middle courtyard or that good life with friends & family around or that backpacker’s dream journey around the world. Perhaps it could be, to lead a normal life. A life where you enjoy your childhood, go to college, live in a decent place with the people you have grown with still around you. A normal life with a normal job, a normal career, a normal girlfriend and the future pre-planned in your hand.
Boring. Yes. Still better than having no life to live.

Somehow, I find all my dreams superficial. Not deep enough to motivate me. And, I’m still searching for the perfect desire. A desire to which I can dedicate my whole life.

Perhaps, someday, He’ll have to come down those stairs and take me to where I belong. I’m too tired a soul to climb more. Perhaps my deepest desire is to be where He is.
But, perhaps.

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being a child once again


it takes roughly from a diary entry on January 16 at 11:22pm

“There are all kinds of courage,” said Dumbledore, smiling. “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. I therefore award ten points to Mr. Neville Longbottom.”

…It was the best evening of Harry’s life, better than winning at Quidditch or Christmas or knocking out mountain trolls…he would never, ever forget tonight.

Well, I’ve finished the first book of Harry Potter series. Of course I’d seen the movie before, but then a book is a book. Isn’t it? And I didn’t quite expect me to have moist eyes at the end of it.

Yes, this book was charming enough to feel sad at the end. Guess I’d enough reserves of childishness to go through this one at the least twice. And I also understand now why Harry Potter is so well-known around the world.

‘Cause somewhere down the line, everyone relates to Harry as himself. ‘Cause everyone believes or hopes there lies something extraordinary within them which needs to be explored & unraveled before the waiting world. Harry is special because he brings our childhood back to us. Harry is special because everyone is.

Thank you Ms Rowling. Thanks a lot.

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incomplete…

about the 7th of january posting,

this entry was left incomplete because of some urgent work, i don’t know why, but, i intend to keep it that way…

so many questions are left unanswered and i’ve to answer themselves and i’m just running away from them…

no diary, no blog, no introspection…

this is what the new year has brought so far…

lets see, tomorrow might be a different day…

this is adi, on the evening of january 12, 2006.
feels different, this 2006. already.

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