deja vu

a few nights ago, when i was walking back from the Paharganj side of the New Delhi Railway Station (NDLS) to the Ajmeri Gate side, i’d this notion of something filling up my head, someone i should listen to perhaps.

“you’ve been here before, walked the same dusty old bridge crossing the NDLS railway tracks. you were confused, losing the way that day also. and had resorted to walking. because walking gives you time, calms the mind, lets you think what to do.” what was my mind telling me? or was it some higher power nurturing me with long-forgotten wisdom? what i needed to learn from that moment?

the answer came slowly. as i descended the bridge and trudged forward only on intuition as to where my destination, the metro station should be, i automatically solved an old problem of mine. despite being through the railway station umpteen times i was still confused with these two sides. and once or twice, i’d to actually retrace my steps or cancel my plans because of this. i’d landed in the same physical spot twice and went back, as i was afraid to explore, to move forward. now, i thought, “i’ll never be confused or worried about this route or place. i’ve found my way.”

and this is the lesson i learned those few nights ago.“life takes you to places or situations again ‘n again, to make you learn things from them, the lessons most needed for your growth. if not in the previous attempt, if you avoided it before, or stepped back, you’ll eventually turn the same corner and will have to face the same situation. again. you’ve got to grow. and there’s no other choice about it.”

as i stand on the verge of one of the most important decisions in my life, something which i’ve been avoiding all through; as her words, her realities; our dreams (and not mirages) wait for resurrection, it is this sense of deja vu that i’ve to shake off, and act decisively.

its time.