Words

of taps that run & wishes fulfilled

I’ve shifted. I’m not staying with Rahul anymore.

It is an airy, spacious, one room + kitchen + verandah + other facilities – ‘a complete floor for us’ set-up. At 2.5k + water/electric, it is a little over budget, but then I wouldn’t mind complete calm & privacy as little added benefits. No nagging, almost hysterical next room occupants; no shared bathrooms; no locked gates after a prescribed time – ah, I feel like a king.

And the best thing is that taps here actually have water. At the mere slight of a rotation, the taps come alive with fresh, gurgling, pressurized water. What a relief. The first day I was very excited upon my discovery. ‘Hey, they are not showpieces, they actually have a utility.’ Most of the people don’t realize how fortunate they are to get taps that actually work. I was like that also. But almost two years of tap-less existence has made me wiser. (There were no running water in Indore also.)

Running taps are like promises fulfilled. You see a tap, you feel sure that it is usable. If not, like in municipal toilets & drinking fountains, that promise, that trust is broken. That’s why running taps are like promises fulfilled. A very comforting thought indeed.

I’m staying with Mr. & Mrs. God here.

Perhaps I’ve begun to enjoy my life also. The first tentative steps. Like a mystery being solved very slowly, some veil is lifting from my life. Some of the real basics are getting clearer, some are in the process of. Slowly, step by step, piece by piece, somebody up there is putting together a grand life for me. Tonight, on the 13th of December 2005, I feel like God has started fulfilling my wishes – his promises. Like taps that work.
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cold, coffee & a spark

it is 12:30 noon. i’m at the office. it is unusually calm today. some of the sweetest songs are playing like the faintest of whispers. pinaki da is upset with something & is in his room. rashmi is scribbling very quietly huddled in her corner. harsh, neeru ‘n somu are as always, noiseless creatures. from the other corner of partition, suman’s franctic fingers are creating noise from the keyboard.

me? am thinking about the concept for our website, SPARK. and waiting for a cup of coffee being prepared by sanjeet.

dang, this cold has got all of us.

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of sanity & intensity…


Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting.
John Russell
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the love of unloved

ah, the joys of being anonymous, can’t mention who sent me this…

sleeping in the barracks,
with a cringe to my eyes n a moist to my lips i am sleeping…
lost in the woods,with ur thots all wild,ur lost ….

that u wish to make mad passionate love to ur love,
telling this to a girl whu wishes to stain ur sheets with the first blood……
no wonder blood has been an inextricable presence in my thots,my compositions,my life.

had been searching for the right words to tell u how it felt….

far from the bustling city,in the woods where u often lose urself,
sleeping in the barracks,
with a cringe to my eyes,
n a moist to my lips i am sleeping….
where u love to keep me all tied up…
at the midnight….
u enter with a bottle of wine…
at the midnight…

hang tht wine bottle upside down,
so that it falls directly on to my bleeding heart….
leave me alone to this agonising fare, after passing a develish smile….
n then right in front of me…
make mad passionate love to ur love….

the dawn breaks…
as u help her redress,ask her to leave first….
then u come to me,
press a close peck on to my lips,
untie my hands,
just the hands,
n leave…
to repeat it each night,
u leave….
n i wonder wht hurt me more of the two….
with both hands beneath my face….
i try to sleep,cry,scream or die…..
i cudn’t decide

anonymous

Mon Dec 05, 01:15:01 PM 2005

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Congrats Sachin!


Congratulations!
My dearest Master Blaster on reaching a record 35th Test Century
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and the time flies by…


this is something i recently tried in Urdu…

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Who says Silence is Golden?


again a piece from my diary…

December 08/05 21:40hrs.

Here I’m, sitting with Mr. Rahul Kumar Raichowdhury who is currently yap-yap-yapping non-stop in his unmistakbly street-smart indianised version of the queen’s english with all the wrong grammar & punctuation-pronounciation that would fill at least 10 episodes of ‘the great indian comedy show’ & keep your tummy rumbling for days afterwards.
And the best thing is, I’ve to listen to it with as straight a face as I could keep.
Oh my! What can you do when somebody is hell bent on calling a chemist (that is, kem-ist) with a ‘chuck’ type ch-emist. And telling you that he knows it is incorrect, that he has been speaking like that since childhood (yeah, chemist as in child) and doesn’t intend on correcting this supposed flaw. He in infact is proud of it is another thing altogether…
Okay, time out, I can’t do it. I’ve to laugh and laugh out loud.

I love Rahul. Period. With all his eccentricity & sincere stupidity. He is all that what I’m not. He is positive, cheerful, effervescent, zindadil, khusmizaz, extrovert, makes friends easily and so many other things that i’m not. He is all that & more. He complements & completes me. Through him, I live everything I can’t.
Sample this: A 65ml peg of Johnny Walker costs around Rs 200 at Pot Pourri Bar, just above Nirula’s pastry shop at Connaught Place. I’m never gonna go there. And that French Onion Soup tastes like shredded-fried onions trashed in plain boiled water. I wouldn’t even attempt this. (The only time i like onions is in salad with a generous dose of lemon.) Things like these and so many more.
And how it feels when somebody dies in front of you. Literally.
I’m sorry Rahul. I would have done the same thing, if I was in your position. Watching someone die…I can’t.

Accha, I was on the topic of silence. Yeah, who said silence is golden? I mean being silent is a pretty unimaginative thing to do. If you are not silent you can do a lot of things, like putting both your feet in the mouth, like appearing to be not so bright afterall, I mean, ummm, u got the point. Haven’t you?

I’ve been silent for about 10 days. And haven’t liked it much. As much as i used to. The last time I blogged, I was all starry-eyed, going to join a far bigger ad agency Uk and the tension and apprehension such a move brings with it.

Well, nothing of that sort happenned. I went there for a day, that is the 1st and came back to De’ Hub 2nd onwards. A lot of factors went into this decision and I’m satisfied that I took all the pros n cons into consideration and decided what was best for me. Although sometimes in the past 10 days, there had been that sneaking feeling, which made me wonder, ‘what I did’. What was I thinking then?

What took me 10 days to be back? I don’t know. Except that I didn’t enjoyed this period. Of silence, of introspection & circumspection, but still nothing much. Now that I’m back on track, i would try to be a regular with blogging, ’cause I’m loving it…

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of beauty & love


…and beauty asked,

“you act so strange, why do you call yourself my worshipper”

with a heart, that skipped a beat and eyes, that smiled at her eyes

love chuckled, took a pen & opened his heart

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Shahrukh & Me

“When I need money, I dance at a wedding or do a show, I do films only for love”

Shahrukh Khan


Novemeber 27, 2005 10:25am

Sunday Morning & the Newspapers
I’m enjoying the sunday morning. and what’s my idead of doin that? Well, first of all, get up late, really late & if Rahul tries to wake you up at 8:30, mutter up all the swear words you normally don’t, ‘neend mein sab chalta hai’, slowly sink in two cups of ginger tea (ahhhhh) with an hour’s interval & gorge on the newpapers on offer. And the Bible says laziness is a sin…

I’m prompted to write now because of Shahrukh.
Am reading about him in the Times Life Supplement. Yaar this man does wonders to me, everytime I read something about him. He exudes so much energy.
And how I hated him while growing up???
Actually I liked Aamir & instead of his better acting skills, it was Shahrukh who was a bigger star, almost always. Amir is like a comet who comes visiting around a year, while Shahrukh is always there and the sun shines brightly.
I digress a lot. Do I?
So, I was on Shahrukh & the effects his words/actions have on me. Sanple this, “I don’t carry even a rupee in my pocket. My logic is that the amount of money you carry out of the house must be spent, so earlier, whenever I left the house, I’d give money away to people who claimed to be needy. So my wife forbids me to carry cash on me. I usually borrow from my spot-boy or driver.” Amazing, isnt’ it? This is India’s biggest film star speaking..
It is this lovable quirkiness, this brand SRK philosophy that I like very much.
Shahrukh does wonders to me…

Adi

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the Physical Mind

a piece of thought, from my diary

November 26, 2005 11:40pm
…i’m not a physical person, i never was. most of my existence revolves around the thought process, i live with & in my mind. if given a chance, i would like to do everything by sheer mindpower, without even lifting a finger.
no doubt, that also defines me as a lazy fella. lazy yes, invalid not.

i enjoy physical excursions. i’ve enjoyed playing cricket every single time, especially hitting my big bro all over the park – that happenned rarely though, but it was some celebration. i would like to go trekking every weekend & i dream of making mad passionate love to my love. but. the keyword here is ‘dream’, ‘wish’.


i tend to think about a thing & enjoying it more than actually doing it. i derive all my pleasures by thought.

My Newest Resolution
“I’ll never be ashamed of anything now”

That roughly transcribes to loving life fully, without any guilt factor. Jo ho gaya, so ho gaya, jo kaha, so kiya, usmein koi sharm nahin, total bindaas. period. thing is, will i be able to pull it off?
Just last to last sunday, i made a resolution never-ever to be late again. God knows, I’m reaching office, even later than my previous timings. That’s what happens to my resolutions. All air, pof, whoosh….gone.
and new year is round the corner…
………………..
……………….
November 27, 2005 12:10am

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